Oh wild heart,
who yearns for a settling.
For a quiet pasture.
For a still small voice to lullaby it’s chaos.
Oh wild heart,
Who finds itself in conflict.
Fighting naturally the tension that surrounds
All the noise that knows no bounds
Oh wild heart,
Who feels alone when in a crowd
Who feels crowded when alone
Oh wild heart,
Your hope is pure,
Your love is strong,
Your desire true.
Oh wild heart,
You are wild because you are free.
Untethered, Resilient.
You are wild because you wander,
You wander because you haven’t found your place.
You search for a corner to call home,
A home for a maker of change.
Oh wild heart,
There you will find a warm bed.
A hot cup of tea.
And a room filled with ideas, your ideas, ready to be explored.
There you settle.
There you can be.
___________________
I have lived in a reflective space much of this new year (2021.) Who do I want to be, who was I made to be, who have I become?
With motherhood came such change in my soul. Such a stirring, I wasn’t prepared for it, and it unsettled me. My whole life has been a list of goals, preparing for certain achievements, and certain outcomes. I identify with the “doing of things,” and my identity is “the creative achiever.” When I set my mind to things, I work my tail off, and generally that work pays off. Since becoming a mom, my path took a turn. It wasn’t as straight forward, lots more emotional bends, many more curves that I wasn’t expecting- that I couldn’t control. This new identity is wrapped around my old. Like a rubber band ball, all the parts of me are still wrapped together, still stretched around each other, I just have to find my core in the midst of all the change.
That brings me back to my original question: Who am I?
I truly believe that people are created to create. That creatives need creatives, and that we are all just in search of our little community- whatever that may be. 2020 pandemic threw all of that off balance for me. I found myself shelving all my creative energy, and throwing myself into the mundane and functioning in survival mode. As I take a step back and think, “what type of home do I want to create for Peter?” these are the words/feelings that come to mind:
peaceful
playful
curious
kind
joyful
filled with imagination
loving
musical
filled with rich storytelling
My wild heart yearns for those things, and now think about the mundane through a different lens. I want to build a creative’s home for Peter, and I want to cultivate that passion in even the simple daily tasks.
Montessori has been a HUGE stepping stone in freeing me from some of the restraints I was feeling, and opening up my eyes to some WONDERFULLY creative and beautiful ways to live. I look forward to sharing these with all of you, and from one mother artist to another- we got this. Let’s start creating, make the time for it again, the beauty of motherhood and pour that into our art.
Twice Dutch 