Him and Her. Life and Narrative.
(written 7/21) Time is moving faster these days. I quit my job June 1, and I have been home full-time with Peter for the summer. This has been a beautiful time watching him grow, and getting to know him really well. He is such a unique special little boy, and I feel super privileged to […]
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As I take a step back and think, “what type of home do I want to create for Peter?” these are the words/feelings that come to mind: peaceful, playful, curious, kind……. read more.
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You pick up a leaf with those earth stained, pudgy fingers Lift it above your head and draw in a breath. In slow motion you watch it fall. Tilting from one side to the other, moving with the wind, one with the breeze. Your eyes sparkle. Delight rushes in and your single-toothed gummy grin instantly […]
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Peter is turning one this week. Can’t believe it. Time. What an odd concept in 2020. Both flying and creeping. dragging on like a slug leaving a trail of slimy guck in it’s path. 2020 has knocked me out, picked me back up, and knocked me out again. Anybody else? It’s really hard to believe […]
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You feel like a pressure pushing down on my joy. You feel like a shadow, creeping into my light. You feel like a sadness, seeping into my heart. You feel like a tear, constantly welling up in my eyes. You feel like a weight, driving me deeper and deeper into a hole. You feel like […]
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Dear Post Partum Body, you went thru something pretty incredible. traumatizing. wild. uncontrollable. miraculous. scary. unknown. You have experienced something so new, so raw, so pure, so primal, so exceptional. You experienced life. You experienced housing nurturing keeping safe loving comforting forming a child. a child. You are stronger than I ever could have imagined. […]
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As I begin to type, my eyes are welling up with tears. It’s very hard to describe the end of breastfeeding. If you’ve been through it- you know, if you haven’t- you honestly won’t fully understand. I know I didn’t understand before it happened to me. But I will try to explain. When I started […]
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Dear breastfeeding experience, I could never have prepared myself for the relationship I have with you. You have changed me, deeply, to the core. When we first met, I was completely weirded out by you. The whole feeding, milk, nipples, everything! And don’t get me started on the science fiction machine that is the breast […]
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I honestly don’t know where to start. Since April 22 (my last post) we have moved, I got a new job, Jason got accepted into the fire dept, we bought a house, we are living during the pandemic (which is the weirdest time to move! But we did spend time with family this past week, […]
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Things are growing in our backyard garden. I planted lavender, basil, lettuce, and some wildflowers for the new people to enjoy after we move. So many new recipes. I have made the best meals with new ingredients during this quarantine. It has really fueled my creativity being home and not distracted. Anybody else?? I have […]
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This was a hard week for me personally. Our first baby would have been 1 today. I know that miscarriages are a bit taboo to talk about, but I also know that so many have experienced them. I think we should talk about them more. Even though we lost our first baby in the first […]
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(see end of post for list of sleep training tips.) When I found out I was pregnant, I got the books “baby wise” and “bringing up bebe” from the library. I read them both and thought ” I can do that! sleep training, teaching baby to “pause” or breathe before giving them what they want, […]
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What a crazy time we are living in right now. It’s almost too unbelievable. The funny thing about quarantine/social distancing, is that it’s not much different than what I was already experiencing with a newborn. We rarely went out, I was too afraid of him having a meltdown in public, or becoming inconsolable with the […]
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I’m finding it hard to articulate this post.I want to preface this post with: I am SO THANKFUL that my baby is healthy. I am not claiming anything unique- I’m aware colic is common- I just wanted to share my thoughts, without comparison to other illnesses. First… what is colic? Colic is when a healthy baby […]
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This week has been one for the books. Peter’s colic is finally subsiding, I dare say it has ended? Now he just cries if he’s hungry, sleepy, or bored with an activity. I can’t tell you the difference that makes. We started sleep training this week. We tried when he was younger, but it was […]
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I’ve always loved podcasts, this you all know, but it’s become my middle of the night nursing routine to turn on a pod and nurse baby boy in the dark. These are my favorite true crime pods. CONS Dr Death– being turned into an Amazon mini series. Dirty John– mini series available on NETFLIX for […]
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This week bubba decided he was over the whole “no naps for me” thing, and bought into the concept of newborn sleep. The first day that he decided to actually sleep, I thought he was getting sick again. My baby doesn’t take naps! But, sure enough, he has been consistently taking naps IN HIS CRIB all week. […]
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Week 10 I think it’s unbelievably beautiful and surreal how significantly you can feel for a tiny human who has only been alive for 2 months. Know that your life would never be the same again without them, that they have impacted you in such a monumental way that you have changed at the core. […]
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Guilt. Every decision I make these days feels huge. Like supplementing my milk with formula. What will the impact be? What will people think? How do I explain why I chose that? …or….no cry method vs cry it out method? People have such strong opinions about EVERYTHING when it comes to babies. Sometimes it’s hard […]
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I didn’t get a chance to write last week. Things got crazy and we went on a trip. Week seven I really tried to start a schedule: feeding at the same time each day rather than focusing on the naps . This worked, to an extent, for two days. It did give me a bit […]
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SIX WEEKS! Time is passing this quickly and slowly simultaneously. Everyone told me that at 6 weeks there would be such a sigh of relief, because I had made it through the fog. There is a great truth to that, and a huge part of it is the developmental leap that occurs. Because he’s becoming […]
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Anxiety. That is my word of the month. I have never really been an anxious person. I have been stressed out, but this is a whole new ball game. I know it’s probably a new mom thing mixed with my personalty, but I constantly feel like the worst is going to happen. He’s going to […]
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Christmas week. Baby boy is a month old today. I wish I could say “where has the time gone?” but my reality is, time has moved at a snails pace this past month. To be honest, it’s all kind of a haze and I don’t remember large parts of it. Time has been swallowed up […]
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This week has been an emotional storm. There have been a few moments of solace and gratitude, more moments of “What did I get myself into,” the the most of “I’m a bad mom, my baby hates me.” I’m sure this isn’t unique to me, but I have found when baby boy cries during nursing, […]
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Week two has been a roller coaster. Filled with sleepless nights, screaming days, trouble eating and baby tummy issues… it has driven us to our wits end, and the beginning of a new kind of patience. It’s crazy having a tiny human to take care of, who depends on us, who relies on us for […]
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On Tuesday, November 26, I went to the hospital to get a check-up. Five days over due and I was soooo ready to get this baby out! I had tried everything: walking stair master squats cat/cow bouncing on ball dates spicy food raspberry leaf tea pineapple You name it- I tried it. Still, I was […]
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Here’s what I’m loving this week: Invisibilia– I went back and listened from 2016 on. I don’t know how I missed this podcast, but I’m completely down the rabbit hole now and can’t stop listening. It’s a beautiful look at the invisible through the eyes of empathy. If you haven’t tried it out yet- DOWNLOAD […]
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I have never been good at the capsule wardrobe (though it is one of my goals for next year.) But, during pregnancy I was able to curate a usable capsule that I thought I would share with whoever is looking. I think it is really easy to get sucked into “cute bump dresses” or “jumpsuits,” […]
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Let’s talk morning sickness. Or should I call it “all day and all night sickness”?? I told a friend of mine the other day, “I feel like I have had the flu for a year.” My morning sickness lasted 35 weeks, after week 24 it lightened up a BIT, but the rocking/nausea/vomiting lasted up until […]
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Ok here is the podcast round-up for the week. Scamgoddess– “Scam Goddess is a podcast dedicated to fraud and all those who practice it!” If you like true crime and comedy, you will like this podcast. It’s the perfect blend of light (non-murdery) crime and humor. She explores a couple different current scams, or caller-scams, […]
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My previous post had info on migraines, tips and tricks for when you are able to take meds, and some homeopathic options. As many of you know, I’m pregnant (40 weeks!) and it has been a very difficult pregnancy. Complete with 35 weeks of morning sickness, fatigue, insomnia, restless leg, and migraines. The migraines are […]
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Let’s talk about migraines for a second. Migraines are not just bad headaches. Migraines are not sinus headaches. Migraines are not cluster headaches. Migraines are not stress headaches. Migraines have very specific characteristics that come in different combos and variations, but are unique in their own way. Some characteristics of a migraine: Nausea/vomiting weakness pain […]
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As you all may know, I have a beautiful regular size F1B goldendoodle. We got her from a farm in Kentucky called Blessed Hope Kennels , they also have bernadoodles. Our fur baby, Saffron, has been a tremendous blessing in our lives, I honestly can’t describe how much she has changed our lives for the better. […]
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Many of you may know we moved to Kentucky. It has been a bit of a rough transition. We moved twice last year: two very big moves. Alaska- Georgia, Georgia- Kentucky. I found such deep connection in both of those places, it has been difficult to settle in here. I decided a few weekends back […]
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Saffy looks up at me, tilts her head, and fluffs her ears forward. She sits and waits for me to pet her head, scratch her belly, speak calmly and lovingly to her. Her tail wiggles her entire backside, wiggle-waggle, back and forth. She finally stands up and licks my hand, or chin, or ear. She […]
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If you know me at all, you know that I am obsessed with podcasts. I listen to them everyday. Here are a few that I have really enjoyed lately. Start Here (ABC News)- 15 minute episodes that update me on daily news, and explain some big things in politics that I may be unclear […]
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I drove up to that familiar House, where so many memories are stored- both old and new. Home. Where I learned to roller skate across, into, and between imaginary worlds drawn onto the surface of it’s driveway. Where fortresses were built from piles of chopped firewood, and props were fashioned from original Carolina clay. Where in the summer […]
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As the New Year so lovingly tends to do, 2017 stared me smack dab in eye and said, “Abigail, what are your goals? Are you going to make one of those half-finished bullet journals again? Filled with unfinished tasks, lists, recipes, workout trackers, book lists, daily water intake, bucket list…list….lists….lists?!?” Am I painting an accurate picture for you? […]
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It has been a whirlwind of a summer. We bought a house. Moved. I started my new job in June Started solid foods with Peter. Completely sleep trained him (YAYY!!) The world fell apart. Jason got into th fire dept. Jason officially signed out of the army. Peter started crawling. We started remodeling our kitchen. […]
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Twice Dutch 